Pain is a horrible place to live. I've experienced it first hand for nearly a month now. Not sure the point, not sure the lesson quite yet, but I know at the end of all this pain I will have the empathy I may never have understand of others who are in physical pain.
I've come to realize my past has also allowed me into a place of deep emotional pain that I never know existed, a place I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, emotional pain caused
By a loved one, and pain that went on years longer than necessary all because of a belief system which I thought was the answer to every aspect of life. For some it is, for others perhaps not. Which comes to another growth in my life during all this pain whether emotional, physical or even spiritual pain an awakening must happen in order to move through each stage of pain and arrive at a place of understanding .
I continue to strive at a new level and as I kick and scream though this physical pain I am reminded of a place of peace I experienced while coming out of anastasia. I place I have never experienced before, a place as close to heaven as my mind would take me.
It was a field of beauty, tranquilly, serenity, and peace. A feeling I didn't want to leave. A feeling that no words can truly describe, And as the nurse called my name in post op I said no I'm not ready to come back... I wanted to stay there, I want go back there, I want to find that place here again ....
It was my Wonderland, I'll never forget the feeling... But without this pain and surgery I would have never experienced that glorious feeling of peace and serenity, and for that one reason only I am thankful for this pain and the place I experienced for a short moment in time, a place I call, my place of "Amy in Wonderland"
Love Awe and Wonder
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